On mothering two.

I can’t even tell you how many times my friends (and even random strangers) have told me how easy their transition of going from one to two kids went. Most of them look at me like I have a third eye or something (Maybe they’re just looking at that stupid zit in the middle of my forehead that won’t go away… But, whatever) when I tell them that whoa, I totally thought going from one to two kids was hard. Really really hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much.
Or begged so much for someone to come help me out, like, ever. Usually I mask the desperate plea with needing time to work (it’s true) but in reality, it’s mostly because I just need to be alone for an hour or two before I go crazy.

I hate that I can’t just sit on the couch and cuddle the girls at the same time without one of them ending up crying. Or, the fact that I am always cleaning my living room, but it’s never clean. And I definitely hate that I’m just so tired all the time.

As I sat here thinking of all the things that have made this transition so hard for me– I realized that it’s my attitude.

Duh.

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I’m willing to bet that all those people  claiming “the transition” went so smoothly aren’t getting much sleep. I bet that they feel like a tornado just hit their house. And, I even bet that their kids don’t always get along. And that sometimes, their house is filled with tantrums, middle of the night feedings, and needy kids.

The only difference is, they don’t consider it “hard” because that’s just how motherhood looks sometimes.

Being a mom is messy and loud.
It’ll drive you insane and make you (for a brief moment) wish you could just be YOU again. Just you. Before you had kids and before every shirt you own has a food stain on the shoulder.

But you know what? Mothering two kids is also completely “easy”, and definitely rewarding to boot. Seeing your kids play together for the first time just might make your heart explode (mine did).

I need to stop sweating over the “hard” and start focusing on all the “easy” of this mothering two kids  deal.

After all, I am so lucky to even have these two babes. I love them with everything I am.

Comments

  1. Brynn says

    I have a friend who has 10 children. Shortly after I had my second child, she emailed me and told me that the transition from 1 to 2 was the hardest for her, and the closest she came to post-partum depression. I would have to agree. I think with one kid you can still keep a semblance of yourself because you’ve still got nap time, and babies are relatively portable. That transition to 2 is your first glimpse of the rest of your life, and it can be a little daunting. I now have 3, and I promise, it’s going to get better. I’m not saying the tantrums or the mess or the insanity go away, but you get a little more conditioned to it, and you learn how to balance it. Think of it like running. When you first start running, your body aches and you feel like you’re going to die. But once your body gets used to it, a 2 or 3 mile jog is no sweat and actually feels pretty good. Having said that, I still have my moments – usually around 4 pm – when I feel like running away. Hang in there.

    • Erika Senneff says

      Thank you so much, Brynn!
      I really needed to hear that I’m not alone in this.

      4PM is definitely my hour, too.

  2. says

    Love this post. I think everyday how the heck am I going to take care of parent two babies at once. Scary thing but, it can be done!!

    XO
    E

  3. says

    Good post. Thanks for sharing and keeping it real! I’ve been thinking about some of the same things lately, but more in the sense of wondering why adjusting to motherhood in general (like, of one) was so hard for me when it seems easy for so many other people. I’m not going to lie, it scares the heck out of me when people talk about the transition from 1 – 2 being so hard, because I thought one was HARD ENOUGH; but, I keep coming to the same conclusion… A lot of the “hard part” came out of my own attitude and anxieties and expectations, NOT Sam. Thanks for helping me put some of this into words!

    *Also, any time you need a really annoying “client” to call you and insist that you work on her really annoying blog stuff right away so you can get a “break” from momma-ing… You know who to ask! ;)

  4. says

    YES. yes. yes. yes. I’m barely two weeks in to being a mom to two and it has ROCKED MY WORLD. I literally cried big, fat, ugly tears the day my hubs went back to work. Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone in my despair!

  5. says

    oh girl, GOOD post. Actually great one. Attitude really does make a world of difference on how things go. Also accepting that sometimes the day just sucks, but it doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. I think progressing into “bad” parenting or feeling like that totally stems from feelings of failure and/or envy. Always remember: the grass might look greener but there will always still be weeds to pick! On the other side of it, parenting two is the best thing that ever happened to me, hard days and all. I feel like such a better person for it. As crazy as it is, I love how my kids stretch me and the love. Oh the love.

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